what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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