He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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