maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
