We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
