So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
