Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.