My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
