I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
