O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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