this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
