She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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