I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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