she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
