he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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