It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
