She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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