Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
