Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My dad just said "fuck circus"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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