he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
