i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
