believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
