I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
