He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Of course I have a pirate flag
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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