Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
