just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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