He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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