Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
