i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
