arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
