We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
