I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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