My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
