she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize