literally had 100 drinks last night.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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