man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
