life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
