I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just cropdusted the office
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
