At least make sure they are 18
Why
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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