then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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