Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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