These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
