I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
