i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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