im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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