Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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