I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I had to cum in my sink.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
