You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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