I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
