found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
