I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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