Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
