kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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