Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
