No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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