I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
