I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
