my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize