the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
