If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
