i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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